With each new year we prepare for something new to show up in our lives. We countdown the clock anticipating the launch of new hopes and desires. Every year we set forth new intentions that will change our lives and invite new accomplishments and wishes to manifest. It’s an exciting time, one filled with optimism and joy for the unknown. We Sheed the past embracing the new and set forth intentions that will spark the flame for whatever we wish to see come into our lives. There are many ways that we all do this. We cook certain meals associated with good luck and good fortune, we make vision boards to visually see what it is we wish to bring forth, we write out our hopes and desires and we do deep meditations on things and situations we wish to change. Any route you go to hold strong to what you wish to bring forth is ok. It is power in the act of doing what ever your ritual is. The power lyes in the intentions that you have behind the actions you take. Just as we set intentions unintentionally through the words we say so do we set forth intentions in the things we do. It’s important to be mindful that you’re setting the right intentions and to be sure that what you say or do is in alignment with what you want .
When it comes to being mindful of your intentions it’s important to decide clearly what it is that you want. What I mean by this is sometimes we may want a thing and we think we want it because of how we think we will feel after having it. However many times we can obtain a thing and realize after having it that it wasn’t something that would make us happy. There have been so many times that I have asked for a thing and after acquiring that thing realized that it wasn’t all that I thought it would be. Many times because we don’t have something we end up desiring it even more just from the absence of it in our lives. We think because we don’t have it and by having it our need for it will go away. This is not necessarily true. What we think is good for us may not always be a beneficial thing for us. We are constantly growing and evolving and therefore what we need to fill our joy and our souls changes as we grow. Once we may have wanted something but by the time it has arrived in our lives we have grown and now need something more or different to nourish our soul.
I was infatuated with a guy once and I thought he was so beautiful. I would have done anything to be with him and at the time I thought he was everything that I would need in a partner. I was in my early twenties and only looking from the outside in. I was looking for external gratification and things that would satisfy my human desires, but what I wasn’t paying attention to was what I would need internally from a partner. He was young too, in his mid twenties as a matter of fact and looked as if he had it going on. He drove the latest car, ware fly clothes, and had a playboy-ish appeal that gave hime many admirers. I was consumed by the outward appearance of what I though I wanted at the time. I put in so much effort to convince him that I was the one for him. I wrote him letters, I loaned him money when he would ask, I would do thoughtful things like buy him gifts or bring lunch to his job. I did all this even though he did no do any of those things in return but somehow I was convinced that by doing these things he would at some point realize that I loved him and eventually give in to being with me.
I have always been in touch with my spiritual side and I believe that in some cases God or my spirit guilds intervene when they know that I just can’t see the bigger picture. In this case the object of my desire came across financial hardships and at the same time I moved way across the country from Cleveland Ohio to Los Angeles California. Now I had no chance at all to be with him and I was forced to move on with my life. We kept in contact over the years here and there. Occasionally he would give me a sob story about the misfortune he was facing in hopes that I would give him another loan to help with his circumstances. Sometimes I would and sometimes I wouldn’t but even in the times that I would there was a small piece of me still hanging on to the idea that we could one day make it happen. Even though he would never pay the money back I loaned him and would stop calling shortly after he received the funds I still had love there for him in my heart.
As time went on my desire for him decreased. I started to meet other potentials who occupied my mind. As they say out of sight, out of mind. It wasn’t until a few years later that out of the blue he finally wanted to be with me. He could see my rise as I became more successful over the years and his indecisive nature could finally see what a great partner I would have made for him. By this time I had dated a few different guys and my desires and needs had changed, but that wasn’t the only thing that had changed. The perspective of the guy I was so in love with who I saw as so beautiful had also changed. He was no longer the playboy he was when we met years before. He was struggling financially and had been from job to job not able to keep a consistent income. His heart had become more in alignment with what I needed and wanted but his circumstances had dimmed and he was less desirable to my eye then he had once been. Before I saw a gorgeous strong tall masculine man ready to become more then he was at the time. Now I just seen a regular guy somewhat still attractive but not showing any potential of success. I got to visit him different times over the years that had passed and on the last time I visited I noticed that he hadn’t really changed much. He was still wearing the same style of clothing he ware back in the day and didn’t have much to show for his life except a home he had furnished with old vintage furniture and pictures of his past. He was still the same guy but he had changed from his own life experiences and had now come to a place where he wanted stability in his life. Years before when we first met he was having fun and dating a lot of other guys at the same time that we were acquainted. Energized by the admiration of his handsome features he wanted nothing to do with a committee relationship with me. Now that we had been in each others presence again the playboy image that I was once attracted to now revealed a mid thirties man who had been a little warn from the past upsets and let downs in love and life. Because life had humbled him some he was now in a place to accept the love that I had shown him in the past. This would have been perfect and a dream come true if I could have forgotten the way he disregarded me so when we first met. Having had grown myself and experienced my own lessons in love I could see that he wasn’t for me. Not to mention he still asked me for another loan.
I could see that he would never change and that he would probably always be this way. How would my life have gone if I had chosen to stay and continue pursuing him? It was clear that if I would have chosen that path of being with him my life would have been dimmed just like his. I had decided to move away all those years prier from a city that didn’t nourish my dreams and aspirations and he had stayed behind in this world of familiarity and slow movement. It’s funny how over time we can see why things didn’t worked out. Sometimes what you think you want isn’t really what you need.
There have been many times where I have come to realize that what I thought I wanted I didn’t really need. An through the repetition of this happening over and over again I have come to have peace with what is. I have realized that it isn’t good to force things because you want them so badly but instead its better to allow things to come in your life that will be for your best good. We have to trust that God can see something bigger and better for us that we can’t at that time and that if we are faithful to our greater and higher purpose, the things that will nourish our souls and bring us true joy will come through.
I have learned through experience that it’s very important to consider the feeling place of what you desire. Not the outward looks of what you think you desire. There are many people in the world who are rich and have every material thing that they desire but aren’t happy inside. They have spend so much of their lives chancing material things or things that will give them monetary satisfaction only to find that those things didn’t have lasting joy. Before entering into a new year we have an opportunity to review the things and circumstances that have come through. We can evaluate what we think is important and understand if it’s something we really need. Take the time out to really sit with your intentions. Make peace with where you are and have joy in what’s to come. If you can't see what you want, feel what you want. With each intention imagine how it would feel to have it or accomplish it. The feeling can be more powerful than the seeing. And if you don’t get what you want when you want it remember this, “ You may not get what you want, but know that the reason you didn’t get it, is greater than thing you actually wanted “.
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