Detaching, Sometimes you have to just be cool fool

    One of the most challenging things in my opinion has been learning how to control myself and my actions when faced with upset or disappointment. There have been times where I have been so embarrassed or have felt disrespected by others and by reacting to those situations versus responding to them I have found myself in a much worst position than I started.  Controlling ones anger is vital to success, but that doesn’t mean you have to get rid of your anger all together. In many cases anger is very necessary because anger can initiate things that you wouldn’t have if you weren’t angry enough. Anger has sparked much change in our society and within our social injustices. However anger unchecked can lead to unnecessary violence, disrespect and can get one in lots of trouble if allowed to run rampant.  Having self control over yourself is a valued skill and one that can help you in trying times. It’s a quality that many look for when considering you for certain positions or assignments. It’s important to cultivate the control of emotions like angry, jealousy, sadness, shame, and  rejection because if left out of control can diminish one’s integrity, hurt  one’s reputation, or even bring one into danger depending on the circumstances .

    Certain situations will occasionally arise where you will be tested on having self control. One example of this is being pulled over by the police. Many times when we don’t understand the reasons why we are being pulled over and we’re already irritated or frustrated with life’s circumstances we can reflect this in our attitude or in how we respond to the officer. With all the things happening between civilians and police officers of the past few years it’s important to grab a hold over the emotions when you find yourself in this type of situation. No matter how irritated you can be you have to control the anger and act in a respectful and calm matter so as not to antagonize or provoke the officer into handling the situation with unnecessary demands. Of course you can’t be in control of how the officer reacts to you or handles the situation however you can influence the experience in the most positive way you can by remaining calm and compliant. In a lot of cases where the pull over by the police has turned bad the police officer involved could possibly be one with a superiority complex and looking to interject his or her sense of power upon whoever has come across their path. Of course there are many cases where the civilian has been as calm and compliant as possible and still was met with unlawful tactics from the police officer. But when you think about it what else would you be able to do within this situation? This can also be the same for the officer who in most cases may just be doing his job and handling you with caution not knowing you at all and assuming that you could have ill intent. All the reason why within this situation it’s best to control yourself and move through the experience as best you can .

    Many times I have found myself in situations that I have been extremely tested on having self control. In a lot of cases I have to admit I did not pass the test. It can be hard to have this type of discipline when you catch your mate cheating on you, you’re wrongfully fired from your job, or someone cuts you off in traffic. Within these moments it is hard to see pass the now at that time and you can just react due to the provoking of your emotions from the situation. When time passes you may have calmed and looked at the situation differently. As the calm sets in you probably will think of all the other ways you may have handled it so that it could have gone in a whole different direction than the way it did. This is especially the case when you have reacted negatively and afterwards found yourself in a jail cell. Doesn’t take to many of these types of outcomes to realize the next time you find yourself in that type of situation how you should “respond’ and how important it is to have the foresight necessary to understand all angles of how this situation can turn out while your in that moment.

    Now a days when I find myself in situations where I’m not getting my way or something is forcing me to react I have to have a moment to breath then to detach myself from the situation and the outcome of the situation. I have had so many experiences where I have allowed my anger to control me that I have learned the art of detachment. I can’t say I get it right every time and as I said earlier anger can still be necessary when you have to assert yourself or stand up for what is right but if the anger you may experience is rising up from something you just simply can’t control you have to detach from it best you can and allow the time to pass as your senses calm down from what may have just happened. Most times we become upset because we see the situation for face value but we may fail to realize that things also can be happening for reasons we can’t see right away and sometimes happenings can be occurring because it’s a blessing in disguise. When we release the control we can allow the things to happen in our favor. In those trying moments it’s best to just pray and have faith that everything is always working out for our greatest good. Have to have the knowing that we are going to win in the end and that everything we go through is there to teach us something . Alot of times we can defuse situations that flair up simply by how we say things. It’s not what you say but how you say it and if you allow a situation to provoke you it can very well change the whole course of your day. Responding with some detachment to situations that provoke you can make the difference in your whole day and can be the determining factor in how things turn out for you. Just reminding everyone to keep it positive out here in these streets if you can and to remember that things may not always work out how you want them too but you will always have more chances to receive greater later.

                                                                       - G 

 

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