You know those people who always tell you so many nice things. They always say that you are great or beautiful or how amazing you are but when it comes time to showing up in your life they always let you down. They may say that they are coming to see you or that they will be there at a certain time then always end up disappointing you by not following through with their words. I don’t know how many times I have hung on to someone’s words and then every time I raised my expectations I was let down because they never followed through. Having had this kind of let down so many times in my life I have learned to not have any expectations when it comes to people or situations. When it’s all said and done a person who really cares, who really means what they say will definitely follow through. And they will follow through with actions and not just words.
I used to wonder if someone told me something they were going to do why they would let me down and not do it. Pondering on that for so long I have come to know that that person does not value that particular promise. It’s not something they care that much about or they are not that passionate about it. It can be many reasons why they may not be passionate. They could be overwhelmed by their life circumstances, they may have tried and couldn’t and didn’t know how to tell you the truth, or they just simply did not care enough. If something is important to you, you will definitely make a way to see it through . Think of all the things a person will put on their to do list. A person can skip work if they know they are going to see someone they’re passionately in love with, a person will sacrifice their time for education if they know it will get them further, and a person will lie to you if they know it will allow them to have their way. So if a person does not show up then that person may not care enough. How many times has a person said “ I’m going to call you right back “ and never called back? How many times has a person said “ I will be there for your event” only to not show and explain a very obscure reason on how something came up that didn’t allow them to come. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m sure we all have done this to an extent, however that is more reason why you know when it’s done to you the real reason behind it .
In todays times we have so much that attracts our attention and we have so many options to choose from. Can you really blame a person for not being solid on one thing? With times as they are I’m learning that it’s more important to realize that expectations can be unrealistic in some situations and that changing one’s perspective about what people “ should “ do to a perspective of what people may be “inclined” to do is a little easier to digest. If we hold everyone to the same moral expectations that we ourselves have individually we may be disappointed time and time again.
Some situations are just easy. When my Mother calls me and says she needs to call me back. I don’t worry about it because she always calls me back and her consistency in doing that has build trust to know that she will. Now when I have a friend who says that they will be there when we have made plans to get together I won’t hold them to it as much because my experiences have taught me to let go a little bit. If the friend knows that it’s something important to me then they will definitely show if they care. If a friend lets me down without any explanation ( which they aren’t obligated to give but will give if they truly are remorseful about it) then I know that it didn’t matter as much to them and that I have to be ok. I don’t have to let them slide on it by not explaining to them that it is was disappointing, but I have to be ok with it. People are just going to disappoint you sometimes and it is an inevitable occurrence that happens. If I take that into myself then the negative energy that it produces will only effect me emotionally and only I will have to deal with that. Thats the tricky part. When your upset by someone else’s actions it doesn’t really upset or bother them. Unless of course you react to the situation in some negative recourse of action towards them. It only effects you. We have to learn that we can only be responsible for ourselves and another person’s actions is their own responsibility just like our actions are our own responsibility. If you find yourself overwhelmed with disappointment allow the situation and your emotions to settle. Give the situation some time and some space so that your logic can come in uncompromised by the emotions. This will allow you to asses the information and approach it with a more positive response. Sometimes silence is the best and silence can also be it’s own response.
At the end of the day perhaps the experiences like that are just there to teach us how to value ourselves more. How to discern between what’s good for us and what’s not. If there is a pattern there that keeps occurring its probably happening for a reason and until we accept what it’s there to teach us we will continue to repeat it for as long as we allow the lesson to continue. When someone shows through their actions that they really care then you will know. You will know that that is someone valuable enough to keep in your life and your heart will always be that voice that will tell you the truth.